1052
*roads full of potholes*
“I wish they would actually fix the roads around here”
*construction crews working on the roads*
“Sheesh do they really need to fix all the roads at once?!”
1053
*3 inches of snow*
The South: all activities are cancelled for the next week, drive like you’re taking grandma to church, this could be the end folks!
The Midwest: hold on grandma I’m drifting this next turn!
1054
On any given Christmas in the Midwest you can have a foot of snow or 50° weather
1055
I trust the guy with the aching knee that can “smell storms coming” over my weather app
1056
On the 12th day of Christmas the Midwest gave to me
12 random seasons
11 unfixed potholes
10 walking tacos
9 lemme sneak past ya’s
8 runaway cattle
7 u betchas
6 games of corn hole
5 OPE SORRYS
4 winter storms
3 Welp, alright’s
2 one finger waves
And a 45 minute doorway goodbye
1057
“Where you from?”
“Illinois”
“Ohh ok what’s that by?”
“Iowa, Wisconsin, Indiana...”
“Um where?”
“The fields.... I’m from the third cornfield east of Lake Michigan and my Dad’s name is Sawyer Bean soy bean for short.”
1058
The 4 types of midwest cold:
1. brisk cold w/ no wind. Perfect for running
2. Christmas cold, snowy, feels good (southerners can’t survive this)
3. Mercenary cold. Sharp. Windy. Dry. Will cut you. cracked lips
4. time warp cold. So cold everything stops even Midwest schools
1059
This is what happens when you don’t flick the straps and say “that’s not going anywhere”
1060
Can’t imagine a world where this is cold
1061
Midwesterners when they see a forecast of 50 or more all week
1063
Tornadoes:
Everyone in the US: (huddled in the basement) “we’re all going to die!”
People in the Midwest: (standing on front lawn) “I can’t see it. Where’s it at? Let’s get on the roof for a better view.” t.co/p3rKkKX9rr
1064
We live in a special part of the world where you put mayonnaise on vegetables and call it a salad
1065
You ever just “we needed this” after a good rainstorm?
1066
Midwesterners revving their crockpots like a sports car in preparation for Thanksgiving
1067
Every Midwesterner has had this conversation:
"Oh I live in _____"
"Where's that?"
"About *insert time here* from *closest recognizable major city here*"
1069
On the 12th day of Christmas the Midwest gave to me
12 random seasons
11 unfixed potholes
10 bottles of ranch
9 tornado sirens
8 runaway cattle
7 u betchas
6 games of corn hole
5 OPE SORRYS
4 big storms
3 Welp, alrights
2 one finger waves
and a 30 minute doorway goodbye
1071
7 stages of midwestern love
1. “Watch out for deer”
2. “I’ll start your car for you”
3. “Jeet yet?”
4. “I’m bringing you Culvers”
5. “You remind of a lot of Billy”
6. “I’ll make you a plate to take some home”
7. “Call me when you get there so I know you made it”
1072
Time to solve this as educated midwesterners.. what’s this called
RT: walking taco
Fav: taco in a bag
1073
📍Midwesterners
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📍closest gas station |
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📍 Kwik Trip
1074
Welcome to the Midwest dress accordingly
1075
Goodnight to everyone except people that call pop “soda”
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody