176
poc: *breaks plate in an ihop*
news: Terrorist Starves Table of Six
white person: *sinks california into the pacific*
news: Dave Has Bad Day
180
always bring mangos to share on the first date. if they don't slurp the seed the head game is prolly trash
181
interviewer: do you have any questions for us?
me: yes *reading index card* do u love this shit r u high rn do u ever get nervous r u single
182
ur mcm doesn't even know one nelly furtado song
186
no means no so what if you got curved so what you might be ugly learn a skill develop a talent improve yourself and try on someone else
187
real unemployed hours who tryna give me a job
191
the global temp been rising for 17 consecutive years and people still out here acting like social media is the end of humanity
192
yall ever think about the possibility of twitter dying because our kids wont wanna be on the same platform as their parents
193
i'm not raising my kids religious but i'm definitely raising them w/ twitter. every monday we getting these 'ur mcm' tweets off as a family
194
what's the word for a caucasian hotep twitter.com/realdonaldtrum…
195
happy pride month to everyone except corporations that disenfranchise lgbtq ppl & exploit workers behind limited edition rainbow merchandise
196
kudos to rihanna for finding time in her busy schedule of being a cultural icon/ghost writing for tame impala to start the nba
197
sometimes i'll be having a great day until i remember hank hill probably voted for trump
198
friend: wanna go for an early morning jog in the park
me:
executive producer
dick wolf
199
Millennials Are Killing American Tradition of Having Polio
200
"millennials killed department stores" baby boomers killed the polar bears but right right right my deepest apologies to jc penny
