176
When you're feelin' your song sober vs. drunk @chrisreinacher
177
Happily Serious vs. Seriously Happy twitter.com/itsashlyperez/…
178
My New Year's Resolution is to be less cynical, even though resolutions are totally pointless and no one ever follows through on them
179
[texts friend this pic]
FRIEND: "Are you at a funeral?"
ME: "What? No, I'm at a coffee shop."
#whenallyouwearisblack
180
KIDS - *counts down the days until Spring Break*
ADULTS - *counts down the months until Halloween, cries forever*
#FirstMondayOf2016
181
MOM: "Your hair is too long."
ME: "Can you stop criticizing for once? Try to give me a compliment."
MOM: (pause) "You look like your Mom."
182
@EugeneLeeYang I could write a book based on the conversations I have with my mom. She is savage AF and my idol.
183
Pesto the Pup meets pesto the pasta for the first time and is like soooo unimpressed
184
"Seriously guys, I DO have a huge dick! Everyone talk about the huge dick I definitely have!"
- what I hear when North Korea does anything
185
SOMMELIER: "And what are you pairing your wine with?"
ME: "Uh...with?"
186
@EugeneLeeYang
ME: "I'll pair my wine with...this other bottle of wine."
#winewednesday
188
My great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-.....-great-grandfather
190
I HAVE STRONG OPINIONS ABOUT EVERYTHING AND IDGAF WHAT YOU THINK
More importantly, please like and retweet this
- People on Twitter
191
192
So apparently @nedacus has been taking photos of me and instagramming them to document my work outfits
193
Every single birthday present I was given this year was a bottle of booze
My friends know me so well
194
Today I turn 30 years old.
So in Asian years, I'm 15.
195
Ladies and gentlemen, the most majestic goddamn photo I have ever taken:
Starring professional unicorn @KeithHabs
196
Watch me teach my coworkers how to dance some of the most famous music video choreography of all time!
youtube.com/watch?v=iTg9n2…
197
What your parents say:
"Hi, how have you been?"
What your parents mean:
"GET MARRIED, MAKE BABIES."
198
Having a dog is 50% unconditional love and 50% staring at its butthole while waiting for it to take a dump
199
200
"Literally goals," said the soccer player
I'll see myself out...
