201
I'm gonna need people to start calling me uncle instead of dad because I'm no father figure I'm just a perpetually drunk guy who hates kids
202
I am uncle af
What a weird fucking word
#uncle
203
You are all my nieces and nephews
I can't wait to come to your family dinners
And not know what to do with myself
204
I just yelled "Celine Dion!" at two girls arguing if Bieber or Shawn Mendes was the best Canadian singer of all time cause I'm old and right
205
"I had one pistachio"
said no one in history ever
206
The imagery in Beyonce's #Formation video is some of the most powerful and important in recent music video history
207
Watching the Republican debate right after Beyonce's #Formation is like getting fucked good and then your ass is taken to Denny's
208
I'm so Asian that my Super Bowl is homemade pho #AsianNewYear
209
Yo Asian elders
Make it rain red envelopes
Children gettin' paid
#HappyLunarNewYear #haiku
210
My dog - I mean, dragon - wants to wish you all a Happy Lunar New Year!
211
Got my face contoured and hair slicked back for an upcoming #TryGuys video
212
If you've never been in love, have some pizza, it's kind of the same thing
214
I ultimately feel sorry for the many people who swear they have a "racial preference"
That's like going to a buffet and only eating soup
215
I just want to remind all the little Asian kids out there that your eyes are gorgeous and if anyone tells you otherwise poke them in the eye
217
No, I do not care about celeb gossip
Yes, I am very passionate about different types of cheese
218
Everyone around me is always talking about Kanye and Taylor and the Kardashians and I'm just sitting here thinking about baked brie 🧀
219
I feel like when it rains, politicians point at the sky and scream, "THE UNSEEN TERRORS OF THE SKY ARE ASSAULTING OUR LIBERTIES OF DRYNESS!"
220
ME: "What's his name, Bread?"
FRIEND: "OMG racist white guys are not named Bread."
221
Proof that I am old twitter.com/korndiddy/stat…
222
No I am not a vampire I am stopping at your front door because I am Asian and I don't know if I can keep my shoes on or not
223
BuzzFeed Video FINALLY has an app, meaning you can binge-watch all our vids and never get any work done again ever
bit.ly/1LEmIDl
224
MOM: I love you and am always so proud of you
[one hour later]
MOM: WHY YOU DON'T ANSWER TEXT I AM SO DISAPPOINTED IN YOU
#momtext
225
The new #FacebookReactions are basically the stages of a failed relationship
