828
I just realized I also have to babysit Ned’s dumb ole baby.
So we win things because y’all like watching me suffer. 😭
829
When your friend is a literal photobomb
@KeithHabs
830
The only thing that has ever made me want to have children is seeing the glory of Beyoncé live. One day I’ll force my grandkids to listen to me rave about this performance. 🐝
The concept. The vocals. The dancing. The fashion. The culture. Absolute perfection. 🙌 #beychella
831
SECOND FORM:
Shopping Asian Auntie 👵
#Halloween19
832
I forgot that we posted this and my mentions have been filled with bottoms. twitter.com/tryguys/status…
833
It was an absolute honor and privilege to host #TrevorLIVE last night for The @TrevorProject. 💜 Amazing honorees, wonderful crowd, and an enormous amount of fundraising for LGBTQ youth and important initiatives. 🏳️🌈
Also, everyone lewk at my outfit.
834
I’m announcing my intention to create a prestigious dog show for mutts where the judging criteria is how long they can stand me hugging them #DogThanking 🐶
835
The two types of people who love Halloween:
TYPE 1 🧡 - the fun person who prepares multiple so-so costumes and attends parties over several days.
TYPE 2 🖤 - the obsessive person who works months on one awesome costume for a single night out - by then is too tired to have fun.
836
837
2020 gave us several outstanding projects helmed by Asian-American creatives featuring Asian-American leads telling distinctly Asian, undeniably American stories. The most I've ever seen in a year. We still have a very long way to go, but we can also celebrate how far we've come.
838
When your stolen iPhone travels farther than you for the holidays 😭🇷🇺
839
Legit love how Marvel has us saying old-fashioned names and making them kick-ass. Would be delighted if everyone named their kids Wanda and Carol.
840
*enters anywhere*
anyone: h-
me: excuse me where is the nearest restroom
841
"OH MY GOD ARE YOU A MILLIONAIRE" I yell upon discovering the washer and dryer in their apartment 💰🧺😭
842
Regardless of your personal beliefs, respect that you've witnessed one of the most defining and important American presidents #ObamaFarewell
843
Mom: “You know what today is, right?”
Me: “Yes! The season 10 premiere of @RuPaulsDragRace! Halleluuuu—“
Mom: “It’s your sister’s 30th birthday.”
.
..
...
Me: “Sorry can’t talk gotta make another call.” 😬 #DragRace
844
I swear with God as my witness, we will recreate an entire Golden Girls episode because we are all about educating the children about quality content. Amen. twitter.com/tryguys/status…
845
#ad My #PokemonGO can rock more styles than anyone I know. Looking good, Eevee! What are you doing with your buddy in Pokémon GO?
846
@korndiddy I said they look like you "because they look like a hairy balls." Stop twisting my words. 🥝🥝
847
Guys. I am highly aware of the rampant cultural appropriation in K-pop styling. Never stood for it, never will. Lisa's pony-braids were a flagrant example of stylists and execs staying willfully ignorant. Girls = great. Song = a bop. Visuals = awesome. The braids = shit choice.
848
doctor - “it’s a boy!”
Asian parents - *whisper amongst one another, come to a decision*
“All boys will be named David, Justin, or Kevin. End of list.”
849
I will never, ever, EVER experience the same level of emotional closure that I felt after seeing #ToyStory4
