126
It’s officially “why do I live here” season
127
Dollar General when they see an open field in the smallest Midwest town
128
The 9 levels of midwestern anger
9. “For crying out loud”
8. “Woah woah woah”
7. “Hold your horses”
6. “Jeez Louise”
5. “For Heaven’s sake””
4. “If I had a nickel for every time”
3. “Well, now wait a minute”
2. “For Pete’s sake”
1. “Listen here pal”
129
“What’s it like living in the Midwest?”
Midwesterners:
130
In the Midwest we don’t say “I’m leaving” we slap both hands on our knees and say “well I spose” which means it was time to go 30 minutes ago but we’re too polite to rush off
131
The 8 layers to a Midwestern goodbye:
- about to leave warning (stand up)
- a "we've gotta go" statement
- hugs
- walking to the doorway
- one more conversation in the doorway
- more hugs
- continue talking while everyone's piling in the doorway
- placing hand on doorknob
132
in the midwest we wake up every morning and..
Get
This
🌽🌽🌽
🌽
🌽
🌽
🌽🌽🌽
🌽🌽🌽🌽
🌽 🌽
🌽 🌽
🌽 🌽
🌽 🌽🌽🌽
🌽 🌽🌽
🌽 🌽
🌽🌽🌽
🌽 🌽
🌽 🌽
🌽 🌽
🌽🌽 🌽
🌽 🌽🌽
🌽 🌽
133
Can you really call yourself a midwesterner if you don’t understand the struggle of hitting a pot hole so hard that you apologize to your car out loud?
134
“I’ll start your car for you” and “watch out for deer” is midwestern language for I love you
136
Rt if you hide a Christmas pickle ornament on the tree
Trying to prove a point
137
In this life you either ope or get oped
138
Mother Nature: you cannot have 70 degree weather, rain, snow and then sleet all in one week
Midwest: hold my corn
139
Kids today get a push notification that school is cancelled instead of having to wake up early and watch the news like the NFL draft
140
I believe in science. I also believe 60° in September is colder than 60° in April.
141
Things to remember when in the Midwest
1. If someone waves you through a 4 way stop, just go, it doesn’t have to make sense.
2. Chili is better on the second day.
3. “Living the dream” is a cry for help.
4. “Alright, welp” is a sign that it’s time to go.
142
midwest culture is driving with your windows down when it’s only 42 degrees out bc “it finally feels nice outside”
143
as a midwesterner, shorts and hoodie weather is a very spiritual time. we are thriving. living the best life, if you will.
144
You ever hit a pothole so hard you apologize to you car?
146
Midwesterners ⚠️
If you’ve heard a friend or a loved one use “oh it’s going” recently send help!
It’s a desperate cry for help
147
Midwestern families on vacation:
*goes to take picture*
“Ope”
*removes lens cap*
“That would probably help huh”
148
If you think the Midwest is just a bunch of corn fields, suicidal deer, and potholes you should
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Educate yourself
it’s also a lot of driving around looking for things to do
149
Eminem: “Snap back to reality”
Everybody: “Oh, there goes gravity”
Midwesterners: “Ope, there goes gravity”
150
Welcome to the Midwest
Winter is at 7 am
Spring starts at 11:15 am
Summer is at 2 pm
And fall starts around 5:30
Glad you could make it!
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody