476
people will be “woke” but love their dads... sis that’s the patriarchy
477
scientists: we have 5 months to save the world
me: thank you five
478
the fact she was alive to know edward and then also see his biopic omg.... twitter.com/thehill/status…
479
im ngl batman is long as shit i fell asleep right after i came
480
sylvia plath did not invent depressed 20-something oversharing to be erased like this twitter.com/JessCluess/sta…
481
me seeing my old teacher at the store
482
2009 is the most iconic year of pop singles of in 21st century... kiss me thru the phone, obsessed, single ladies, day n night, paparazzi, heartless, live your life, use somebody, she wolf, viva la vida, i kissed a girl, birthday sex, party in the u.s.a, nicki's verse on bedrock
483
me pulling up on the sting ray that killed steve irwin twitter.com/weaponshq/stat…
484
my favorite show right now is white people being shocked they can’t be racist with their outside voice
485
the gayest emotion is yearning but contemplation is up there
486
false. it’s prostate twitter.com/Jim_Jordan/sta…
487
jesus: i’m dead 😵
12 disciples: omg 😔
jesus: lmao april fools 😂🧖🏿♂️
mary magdelene: girl stop playin 😭
488
does kim kardashian’s iphone still recognize her when she takes her black off
489
mfs be tweeting “jeff bezoz doesn’t owe you anything. rise and grind” meanwhile they owe herbalife $1500 for product they can’t sell and theyve already facebook messaged everyone in their high school yearbook
490
as a queer straight white person of color
491
pumpkins transitioning from a halloween main stay to a thanksgiving supporting act is a masterclass in grace and humility
493
when fiona apple said “how can i ask anyone to love me when all i do is beg to be left alone”
494
i've never actually seen pulp fiction but i've pieced it together from college dorm room posters
495
i’m gonna show YOU how to leave a party after only being there for 15 minutes
496
the way islam was right abt statues and covering your face
497
i’m happy joe biden picked kamala bc my younger brother stole my favorite pair of pants and has not given it back. he will be dealt with
498
being in your 20’s is awkward cus all my friends are settling down and getting married and having kids and i’m just over here like dreading the next full moon, jaws aching from my burgeoning fangs, unsure of how much longer i can keep my human bloodlust a secret
499
amy coopers ex-dog in the shelter explaining how it overeacted so amy would look bad
500
bon iver just dropped bout to hide out in rural canada and go six months without eye contact except for some elk and a sepia photo of my ex
