876
everybody wants to be carribean now but when i was bringing curry goat to school in 2004 yall were baa-ing at me so what’s really good
877
“AMERICA HAS NEVER bEEN MORE DiViDeD” people legally had to drink from separate water fountains
878
no local but walking around an air conditioned walmart in the summer be hitting
879
yall really on here shaming people’s bodies when the corners of your bathtub are dirty
880
me after putting on erykah badu and making a stir-fry
881
sister mary jo let me argue “i wish i was aborted so i could’ve gone straight to heaven” in a theology class debate without giving me a detention and shes had my undying respect since twitter.com/NBCSChicago/st…
882
two years since frank dropped blonde and ruined my gay life in a good way
883
there’s video on here of a dude making a baby do push ups so the baby “will be straight” but if i posted a video of making baby watch fiona apple’s 1997 acceptance speech so they could be queer then it’s a problem
884
who gentrified me twitter.com/LoudDose/statu…
885
fuck your zodiac sign did your family keep your trash can out in the kitchen or hidden in a cupboard
886
when playboi carti said “i’m on them beans foreal” he was talking about cold brew
887
no offense but all houseflies need to DIE. productivity does -NOT- equal worth BUT at LEAST bees out here making a positive change in the world. flies play in shit and then land on your food or ON YOU and we just accept this? NO MORE. if you're a fly i'm swinging on u on sight
888
me: *takes the 4 cups and plates out of my room, washes all the dishes, takes out the trash, refrigerates all my produce, puts red wine in a cup covered with perforated plastic wrap*
fruit flies:
889
me at the interview vs me once i get the job
891
grey sweatpants twitter.com/MindBlownTing/…
892
if my sun comes home wearing cargo shorts with a “girl”friend around his arm... idk bro 🤢 twitter.com/uxcynn/status/…
895
every time a republican senator dies you have to post a thirst trap that’s the first gay commandment
896
people who go to karaoke and sing well reminded the teacher there was homework
897
me:
centrist: here’s a video of john mccain ✊🏻💀 obeying traffic laws 😫💦😝 pro black LEGEND 😫 mlk flopped 👑⁉️ invented feminism👷🏻♀️👩🏿 queered the west bank 💅🏻🎀
898
“what don’t you people understand is yes he was racist but he killed black & brown people in MLA format which is something rare these days”
899
dudes who angrily tell women astrology isn’t real are still hurting from finding out magnetic bracelets don’t make you better at sports
900
anyone can have a light complexion but only black people are Light Skinned™
