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dudes really be on here with stale ramen juice fermenting in their beards calling women cheap hoes
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future: *releases new music*
pharmaceutical executives:
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when you live vicariously thru your friend's hoeings
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when you boycott a product you couldn't afford anyway
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cashier: one tall coffee. anything else?
me: ya... now that u ask i guess i have been anxious lately. overanalyzing things, excessively mast
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me: *is guillotined in a whole foods*
cnn: Man Beheaded In Grains Section Has Dark Past Of Illegally Downloading T-Pain Songs In 2007
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mcdonalds: *forgets 3rd ketchup packet*
suburban mom with a blonde highlighted shoulder length bob and bedazzled sunglasses in a pt cruiser: twitter.com/seanspicer/sta…
33
your daily reminder that we are in a global climate crisis and it might be the right time to start carpooling to dick appointments
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obama definitely wasn't perfect but his flavorful personality really made the capitalist imperialism go down smoother
35
how many retweets for @AnimalPlanet to reboot meerkat manor
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when you have one thousand (1,000) deadlines coming up and just finished one (1) tweet
pic.twitter.com/6xTZPf4bue
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ur sex and cooking playlist should be the same. if you don't boil pasta & bite earlobes to the same music ur lasagna and head game are trash
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what kind of ugly ass comic sans font twitter.com/clarybrooke/st…
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damn. is fire but i feel so bad for kendrick with him having to drop his album so soon after cupcakke's and all
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there's a lot of kendrick verses on this new rihanna album
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you, a problematic: hey bro
me, a woke: hey breaux
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say black lives matter twitter.com/taylorswift13/…
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them: so you can call me an extra mayo egg salad but if i call you a nigger it's racist
me, sucking hot cheeto dust off all my fingers: yop
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white person: slavery was 150 years ago get over it
also white person: retrieve the 2nd cheese slice for my burger or i'm going to corporate
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if ur curious about my racial tweets it's cus tailor swiffer stans keep hopping in my dm's w stuff like this
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me: hi
art major: i actually don't need a box spring i just sleep with my mattress directly on the floor
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me listening to your coachella story about you doing molly w/someone from denver who spins hula hoops on their arms
pic.twitter.com/r2hDmyF4i2
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today we celebrate jesus coming back from the dead to sign the constitution
