1301
Shoutout to everyone else drinking at home all alone while staring at the news.
We have finally become our fathers.
1302
meanwhile, video conference calls have shown a marked improvement
1303
All these show recommendations are great but nothing comes close to the single funniest episode in television history:
1305
All these balcony videos from Italy and Spain are meant to be inspiring but they're just further intensifying my attraction for Italian and Spanish people.
1306
For the love of God, check on your Aries friends. It’s Aries season and they’re stuck inside. Send them shit to burn or they’ll do it to their house.
1307
Share this video NOW with your skeptical family and friends - particularly those who need relatively simple, visual explainers about complex topics. @Kurz_Gesagt does such an incredible job summarizing how defeating Coronavirus is literally in our hands.
youtube.com/watch?v=BtN-go…
1308
house plant people when they come out of quarantine
1309
Tyler Perry’s I Can Get Drunk All By Myself
1310
reflecting on how I used to delight in canceling plans
1311
In honor of #NationalPuppyDay, thank you to WeRateDogs @dog_rates for being the one constant source of light, humor, and good boys on Twitter. 100/10 twitter.com/dog_rates/stat…
1312
forget horoscopes, tag yourself as one of my dogs:
1313
Stop posting pictures of your delicious homemade bread without offering to send me any.
1314
I’m sitting here in quarantine eating my dry grocery loaf while all y’all bitches suddenly Bake Off chefs during bread week.
1315
Please stop putting these politicians on television. Give me medical professionals and experts who value human life over their wallets. #StayHome
1316
you'd think that years of existential dread as a teenager would have better prepared me for this
1317
As someone who dislikes hugging, social distancing has taught me that I would much rather have the option to reject people's hugs than to have never hugged at all.
1318
This looks incredible @alanyang 🙌 twitter.com/alanyang/statu…
1319
We don't care about your politics, conspiracy theories, or personal agendas. When health care workers who are battling this pandemic on the front lines are distressed and asking for help, YOU FUCKING LISTEN. Show some goddamn respect to the heroes who can save your life.
1320
#FutureNostalgia is pure pop perfection and the soundtrack we need in isolation. @DUALIPA’s bold retro sound is focused, funky, and fucking FUN, propelling this album into the modern disco pantheon alongside Madonna, Robyn, Daft Punk, and Kylie. I am very gay, so I am very right.
1322
Hot Italian Man Does Yoga With His Tiny Chihuahua #StayAtHomeAndStaySafe
1323
Mr. President, we aren’t watching you or Tiger King because we actually like you. It’s because you’re godawful, delusional, megalomaniacal train wrecks with terrible hair. twitter.com/realDonaldTrum…
1324
After thorough, scientific research, I have concluded that the new acceptable time to start drinking at home is 3PM.
