1276
I want fabulous
That is my simple request
1277
me, very gay, playing dungeons & dragons for the first time:
1278
I thought I cared about my friends and family and then I watched #CheerNetflix and the only thing I care about now is the Navarro Cheer Team, making mat for Daytona, and protecting Jerry at all costs.
youtube.com/watch?v=8td25E…
1279
My mother just asked me what an influencer was.
I replied that it's a popular trendsetter on social media who has the power to influence their large audience's purchasing decisions and tastes.
She paused, confused and said, "but no one on social media has good taste."
1280
Yes, Bambi's mom dies, but need I remind you that halfway through this film all the woodland creatures hit puberty while a weird old owl explains to them why they're so horny. twitter.com/IGN/status/122…
1281
It’s the #YearoftheRat so get that dick.
1282
Ladies and gentlemen, may I present the newest addition to my furry family...
🍙 KIMBOP! 🍙
Just adopted this 4-year-old cuddle monster from the shelter and am officially a father of three. 🐶🐶🐶
1285
Language is a core expression of identity. Subtitles do not divide or disqualify - they’re gateways into incredible stories you might have otherwise never known.
Tonight I heard the language of my family on the Oscars stage. 🇰🇷 I can’t wait to hear many, many more... #Parasite
1288
She’s right, I’m wrong, shut up 💇🏻♂️
1289
HOW DARE YOU SIR. twitter.com/KeithHabs/stat…
1290
1291
1292
diet coke cult members...
explain yourselves.
1293
My friend just met my mom for the first time. She kept referring to Gary, who lives with her.
My mom asked if Gary was her husband.
My friend replied, “Gary is my cat.”
Happy #InternationalWomensDay to all the amazing women in my life. 💜
1295
Literally the short list of people who I wish nothing bad would happen to EVER is:
1) my family
2) innocent children
3) Tom Hanks
1296
Historically, the greater threat to humanity's progress and safety over pandemics, prejudice, economic inequality, and global warming have been the fucking idiots who refuse to believe them and the monsters in power who downplay their veracity.
1297
An older woman in front of me demanded her drink get remade because her barista was Asian.
When I tried to inform her how irrational that request was, she turned and sneered, “are YOU Chinese?”
I replied, “no, but your ugly-ass knockoff purse is.”
Shut your racist asses up.
1298
REMINDER: I’m a young, tall man with a big mouth who gives zero fucks. I can afford to go on the offensive.
Most people can’t defend themselves in the face of abject racism. Now is not the time for xenophobia. We need to come together in the face of a worldwide pandemic.
1299
I can’t even begin to express my gratitude for doctors, nurses, researchers, scientists, paramedics, first responders, hospital staff, administrators, assistants, technicians, healthcare workers, and every medical professional working right now. Y’all are the real superheroes.
1300
You know who loves #SocialDistance? Our pets. Less time with other humans = more time with our best friends.
For those who are fortunate enough to stay at home, take a furry family photo and share your best pet pic! I'll go first:
