676
I’m pleased to introduce to the stage
The inventor of beauty
My mom
677
When you ask to take a photo with me, I’m more than happy to! When you then turn to the guy I happen to be standing next to and ask for a pic, assuming it’s @KeithHabs, @nedfulmer, or @korndiddy, it sometimes isn’t them. Y’all runnin’ around with selfies of random white dudes.
678
If the guy isn’t particularly tall or short, it’s automatically Ned.
679
@korndiddy I said they look like you "because they look like a hairy balls." Stop twisting my words. 🥝🥝
680
Y’all thinking y’all could handle astrology videos from me. *laughs into cosmic void*
Bad idea. It’d be me raiding the zodiac’s cabinet and spilling all that hot celestial tea. No sign would be safe.
♈️♉️♊️♋️♌️♍️♎️♏️♐️♑️♒️♓️
681
me:
*sees spider inside* 🕷️
"no don't kill it please let me get this beautiful misunderstood creature outside"
also me:
*walks through a spider web* 🕸️
"OH GOD PLEASE NO I'M GOING TO BE EATEN ALIVE BY THESE HELL SPAWN TIME TO SCREAM BLOODY MURDER AND FLAIL UNTIL I DIE"
682
Go see #SearchingMovie. Excellent work by @aneeshchaganty who elevates the style and substance of web-centered films.
Also, one of @JohnTheCho’s best performances and further proof that #StarringJohnCho was never a novel trend, but rather an affirmation of tremendous talent. 🙌
683
*sees weather report*
☀️
💡
I can drink OUTSIDE
684
Adventure Time 🗡
Come on grab your friends 👑
We'll go to very distant lands 🍬❄️🔥🐌
With Jake the Dog 🐶
And Finn the Human 😋
The fun will never end 🐝
It’s Adventure Time ❤️
685
It’s the series finale of #AdventureTime tonight, one of the greatest animated shows of all time, and a wonderful creative platform that launched a new generation of influential, forward-thinking animators. I’m emotional. 😭
686
How much do I love #AdventureTime? I was once in a dodgeball league on a crew called Adventure Team.
I was BMO.
688
I’m just rereading some favorite books I had as a kid and am having very different reactions. Perspective is everything.
child me: “sharing is caring!”
adult me: “why the fuck are you asking for my body parts”
queer adult me: “EAT IT LOOK AT ME SHIIIIIIIIIIIINE”
689
This is the most relatable piece of literature I have read in a very long time.
691
LMAOOOOO NO HE’S NOT YOU STUPID DUMB IDIOT
693
friend: stop being so dramatic
me: how bout you start being interesting
694
"You know what...when you're the fucked up crazy friend, your DRAMA is your STRENGTH."
- me, just now, to my friend, who rolled her eyes
695
🎵 Thank God it’s Friday night 🎶
and I
ju
juuu
juuuuu
juuuuuuu
juuuuuuuuust —
*record scratch*
— GOT OLD!
*hangs up party hat*
I’m tired
I’m so tired, y’all
*crawls into bed*
don’t talk to me til Monday morning
697
me, a typical liberal Texan son:
"What did you think of the #TXSenateDebate? Will you vote for Beto, or do you still like Ted Cruz?"
my typical Republican Texan dad:
(laughs) "No one ACTUALLY likes Ted Cruz."
698
but is Applejack actually anyone's favorite
699
There's no shame in being an adult who watches animation. I've seen practically every cartoon, anime, and animated film imaginable. It's just another genre of art that I respect and enjoy.
I'm emotionally messed up because of my CHILDHOOD, not my cartoons, thank you very much.
700
My relationship with mirrors:
1) Damn I look like shit.
2) Damn I look fine as hell.
3) Damn I look 🎵 who is that girl I see... 🎶
End of list.
