26
Letting Kony babysit your kids. #AfricanYoloMoment
27
I appreciate any girl that likes a cold beer. #keeper
28
Here in America, we spend our summers getting drunk while floating down a river. #Merica
29
It's reported that Kim Kardashian is dating Kanye West. Kim has officially fucked more black men then Hurricane Katrina.
30
Nothing sexier than a girl with a Southern accent.
31
Kansas is battling The Fray for worst performance of the night #NCAAFinals
32
If Kentucky wins tonight there will be lots of cousins have sex with each other.
33
Apparently Anthony Davis has a twin sister. Her name is Britney Griner.
34
No, Lebron. You can't have any Wheaties. Remember its the breakfast of champions.
36
McDonald's should sell Natty Lite on the $1 value menu.
37
They should drop terrorists in Louisiana and let "Swamp People" hunt them. #Merica
38
A hangover is God punishing you for stopping.
39
Friends don't let friends stay sober on a Friday night.
40
Someone threw a bag of flour at Kim Kardashian tonight. It was the first time a "white substance" hit her face & wasn't from a black man.
41
I knew she was the one when she only ordered from the $1 value menu. #keeper
42
The key to happiness is sex, alcohol, & SportsCenter. #Confucius
44
Twitter turned 6 today. My only advice is to watch out for Jerry Sandusky.
45
Class would be alot more interesting if we could bring coolers full of beer. #tailgate
46
Camping = white people drinking in the woods
47
If drunk sex didn't count 90% of college students would be virgins. #fact
48
Never apologize for something you were too blacked out to remember. #liferule
49
For God so loved the Broncos, that He gave away His only begotten Son, in hopes of a Denver championship. -Peyton 3:16 #LaterTim
50
Americans were born to get hammered and raise hell.
みんなで経済を回そう。ベーシックインカムで国民全員に毎月7万円の支給を望む1人です。