1226
and just to piggyback off that i not only “saw” things i imagined, i also saw “things” i imagined and moreover saw things “i” “imagined”
1227
i’m dying thinking abt the group text that must’ve happened between the three cops who got bubble guts from shake shack and thought they were being assassinated, they were prolly sending shit pics back and forth like “Garcia, yours fluffy too?” lmaoooaoaoao
1229
me: *checking phone on the train*
extremely woke man: *smacking phone out my hand* look at u, missing out on life because ur stuck in your phone. you could be reading advertisements or becoming friends with the man using his own shit to masturbate. but no. youre on “twitter”
1230
i pull up w this on me now what twitter.com/1800SPOILED/st…
1231
$3k a month. Rent, utilities and $1500 if her nails cost 70. i aint never seen two pretty best friends. always one of em gotta be ugly. Some come in your life for a season. Y’all consider this a date? Fellas your soul ties come out the house like LLC, you hoe son or gay daughter? twitter.com/DayDayorRo/sta…
1233
nyc apartments be like “LOVELY vintage loft with hot water and live in supe (pictured) $6666 a month ($79,992 deposit with 11 months free) >849 credit score and >70% 23&Me European ancestry needed for approval”
1234
film twitter come get yall juice twitter.com/stereogum/stat…
1236
i wonder if they keep the blue lives matter bumper sticker up after this twitter.com/WalteroDMV/sta…
1237
i don’t even watch sports but i hope mexico beats everybody’s ass
1238
that’s enough being perceived for today
1239
just cut some thumb holes in my hoodie lesgeddit twitter.com/pitchfork/stat…
1240
ik some of yall casting expelliarmus on ur tattoos LMAOOOOOOOO
1241
chlorine and ammonia twitter.com/JordanUhl/stat…
1242
people of color be like “my life a movie 😭😭” yeah but yer not winning any oscars buckaroo
1243
no one:
Dr Jekyll: twitter.com/Genius/status/…
1244
peta is somewhere drafting an infographic comparing chicken sandwiches to police brutality
1245
local: sorry god 😩 for listening to ariana grand 😭😭 sorry sir for 😶 saying this in my head
god: if you don’t shut the fuck up and dance
1246
stormi levitating away after telekinetically throwing cardi’s shoe
1247
Memes aside, my Nonna called me crying today. You don't know what this means to us. twitter.com/Alyssa_Milano/…
