2201
lightskins getting ready to complain about people calling us pretty
2202
whenever i tweet short king positivity i lose followers... but somewhere out there... a short king gains a crown
2203
men over 6ft be like “gotta go water my beanstalk”
2204
when short kings look up we see all you tall kings/queens at your most unflattering angle and STILL accept you... yet we are met with hate & ridicule. short kings are here to stay. we demand reciprocity or we’ll start tying your shoelaces together when you’re not paying attention
2205
bi people become merpeople and pan people become forest sprites
2206
only straight people can go to hell. when gays die we go to mount olympus
2207
older comedians be like “if u can’t crush at a klan rally you’re not a real comic”
2209
retail and service workers who openly scroll thru their phone on the job are anti-capitalist legends
2210
no local but target be having some cute clothes
2212
me: *checking phone on the train*
extremely woke man: *smacking phone out my hand* look at u, missing out on life because ur stuck in your phone. you could be reading advertisements or becoming friends with the man using his own shit to masturbate. but no. youre on “twitter”
2213
on the outside i’m all “howdy!” ... but on the inside i’m like whydy
2214
the strongest human bonds on earth are with me and anyone i meet who also watched that french film “the dreamers” on ifc when they were too young
2215
gays after putting on a stripped short sleeve and leaving the top 3 buttons unbuttoned
2216
me finding lost clothes in my siblings instagram story
2217
i made a fake elon musk accnt called “cool elon musk,” tweeted “just watched 500 days of summer” and it was immediately blocked lmao
2218
hipsters really out here being racist because tolerance is mainstream now lmaoooooooooo
2219
first of all the devil doesn’t need an advocate second of all SHE’s gay and agrees w me
2220
canadian bottoms who eat poutine are braver than the armée canadienne
2221
straight men put on a button up shirt with pineapples and lose they morals
2222
this comic said, on stage, that comics shouldn’t talk about race or sexuality and got booed by canadians do u kno how trash u gotta be to get booed by canadians
2223
pardon my french but omelette du fromage nigga
2224
canela owes reparations twitter.com/medievalpoc/st…
2225
might b learning how to drive this fall. going🚗heterosexual
