701
@jschlatt @Slimecicle Stop! You have violated the Law! Pay the court a fine or serve your sentence. Your stolen goods are now forfeit.
702
Fart February you have to fart and if you don’t you die. Good luck survivors
703
just wait until you guys see my game show
704
Proud to announce WE SOLD OUT!!!
Thank you to everyone who bought a Crying Carson @youtooz - thanks to you all we raised $50,000 DOLLARS for the @jedfoundation - That’s insane!!! Seriously super happy to be doing this, and super glad we can have this kind of impact! Thanks!! 👏
705
@MrBeastYT Sounds like your friends are normal!
706
@Slimecicle Short Cop and Tall Cop
- way too convoluted
- not as funny in concept
- a little over the top
Short Cop
- straight forward
- Funny
- easier to understand because there’s just one cop that’s slightly shorter than the others
- Funny
707
Wwnt to an optometrisf. My eyes work so much beffer now. I can see all ot my keys on my keydorb and fype reaIIy goob. Nothimg is blurrv. Hihly reconmnnend!
708
youtube rewind 2018 was a masterpiece and it’s a shame the dislikes haven’t been preserved for all their glory. I loved fortnite and mark ass brownlee
710
@MrBeastYT rooting for my 2 queens, poki and matpat
711
tomato tomato doesn’t make any sense when i write it out. I look like an idiot. I just wrote tomato twice
712
@Slimecicle got a boner from this tweet
716
@nopeifyaltalt I just want people to be more creative. Instead of “simp” or “cringe” call me “Virgin Supreme” or “Lame Ass” y’know?
717
first they were thefacebook, then they were facebook. Now, they must become book twitter.com/verge/status/1…
719
@DStreamed well I guess today’s the day then huh
720
ain’t nothing funnier than someone googling google
721
Imagine needing brain surgery and you get incredibly unlucky and get the world’s WORST brain surgeon. And he like accidentally drops his coffee on your open brain and says “ope! That one’s on me guys” and then when you wake up you like league of legends
723
Whenever twitch chat reminds you to hydrate it is simply a thinly veiled attempt to drown you
CEO of celebritiesbutbald.net - All opinions presented on this page are that of my company’s and not my own @cmcandthings