876
That being said: if you meet a unicorn who’s gorgeous and has a great job with a big following who’s also kind and has a fantastic personality? Fuckin’ trap that shit.
877
I only bring this up because so many kids ask me about how to “look better” and gain more followers.
Mark my words, friendliness, honesty, and goodness will fulfill you the most in the end. You’ll attend so many parties and socials and those traits inevitably rise to the top.
878
I want to make it clear that I loved and appreciated my time producing content at @BuzzFeedVideo, when I worked there, and with the @tryguys. My dark, weird, creative voice was challenged to be more accessible, but it was never lost. More writing and directing in the near future.
879
A baby was staring at me in the store and his mother commented that I "must be great with children!"
The distressed, maniacal laughter that spontaneously erupted out of my body actually made her back away about five feet.
880
I refuse to let my growing adoration for @nedfulmer’s baby change my entire opinion on the freaky fragility of human larvae.
881
PROOF I'M TERRIBLE: every time I'm at a loss for conversation around new parents, I awkwardly ask...
"Am I the first Asian person they've seen?"
I don't know what to say next so I lean in close to the baby and declare something like "ASIANS ARE COOL" or "KIMCHI IS DELICIOUS."
882
I think asking if you're the first _____ a baby has encountered is a totally legit question! Because they're blank slates! I'm convinced I'm one of the first Asians many non-Asian babies have encountered so I want to make a positive, lasting impression.
Or is that super weird.
883
Internet trolls, I know your go-to insults are "gay" and "soy" for anything that threatens you, but you forget that you're hurling them at an actual queer Asian person. Be careful, I might start taking personal offense, because tofu is fuckin' delicious and gaysians will end you.
884
I'll only say this once: if anyone ever, EVER tries to come for my friends or their families, you name a time and place and I'll meet you there.
I literally have to sometimes act like I'm not good at things to be more relatable. Kicking your ass would not be one of those times.
885
Should I finally start doing hair / grooming / skincare / style tutorial and education videos? I'm very knowledgable in those areas and I haven't posted anything on my personal channel yet. Would people actually be interested in that? 🤔
886
I literally screamed WOBBUFFET twitter.com/VancityReynold…
887
I had NO idea they were using motion capture. That means Ryan Reynolds will provide Pikachu’s facial expressions. This is alarming and unsettling and exciting and now we’re ALL going to be just the TINIEST bit attracted to Pikachu.
888
How in the actual fuck is it already December 31st.
889
Happy New Year's to the people I most aspire to be like...
The best individuals I've ever had the pleasure of meeting...
The most gorgeous humans on the planet...
Drag Queens. 👑
890
We all took 🖐️ pics when we passed 5 million subs today. Everyone's on vacation. My vacation is trying on suit + lipstick combos. 💄 twitter.com/tryguys/status…
891
2018: a fashion retrospective. What I learned is dress and look however the fuck makes you happy. 💜 This was the first year in my life where I truly felt like I could express my personal style without inhibition and I can't wait to discover where it grows next. 🏳️🌈
892
Every time a comedian like Louis C.K. makes jokes about Asian men, I have to stop having amazing sex with my penis in order to try and count the number of times I’ve heard that tired stand-up before, but I can’t because I suck at math.
893
My New Year’s resolution is to be that bitch.
894
Is this a good tweet because I am still drunk.
896
The Year of the Pig 🐷 starts on February 5. That means if you’re baby is born before then, they’re a Dog 🐶. In fact, if you were born in January or early February, you were probably the animal of the year BEFORE yours. This has been a PSA for non-Asians. ✌️
897
I wore heels last night...
🌈
❤️
🌺
🧡
✨
💛
🌞
💚
🍀
💙
🦋
💜
🦄
🌈
...and now my toes are gone.
898
Old Eugene would let people slide into my dms with this shit and let it go. New Eugene is gonna put your ass on blast. Sending love, though, because this person clearly has a lot of hate.
899
I’m not mad. I’m confused because she was offended by this:
