577
#ad My #PokemonGO can rock more styles than anyone I know. Looking good, Eevee! What are you doing with your buddy in Pokémon GO?
578
You reap what you sow, bitch. twitter.com/realDonaldTrum…
580
I felt nothing seeing those two toddlers hugging on the street but I just broke down and wept over the accomplishment of an immortal 10-year-old cartoon character 😭
twitter.com/i/events/11732…
581
Someone break this news to the 3M weddings I have to attend this year.
582
Your Asian jokes are as bland, predictable, and flavorless as the spice level you order our food with.
583
𝐒𝐚𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐟𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐫
𝘛𝘰𝘥𝘪𝘳𝘢𝘮𝘱𝘩𝘶𝘴 𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘴
𝑶𝒓𝒅𝒆𝒓: Coraciiformes
𝑭𝒂𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒚: Halcyonidae
𝑺𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒖𝒔: talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before
584
FINALLY. Congratulations to @bowenyang for becoming SNL’s first-ever full time Asian American cast member! 🙌 FUCK YEAH. twitter.com/nbcsnl/status/…
586
@nedfulmer If this gets 30,000 retweets I WON'T sit in Keith's lap but I WILL steal Ned's baby #funnyvotelewberger
587
RETWEET TO VOTE for the amazingly talented @lewberger in the finals of #BringTheFunny and then go to btfvote.votenow.nbc.com to vote for them up to 10 times! #funnyvotelewberger 🔥👨⚕️🚗👨🚒🤘 twitter.com/bringthefunny/…
588
tired: chicken sandwich war
wired: the KFC anime dating game simulator, because how else will we find out which fast food mascot is most fuckable twitter.com/SanJapan/statu…
589
Found out more about them! Apparently they're meant to target Chinese immigrants and swindle them out of money by making them believe they're in trouble with the government. 😡
pcmag.com/news/367491/ch…
590
The noise that erupted from the depths of my gay being twitter.com/ArianaGrande/s…
591
Do the Chinese robocalls target people with Asian last names? I’ve received so many spam calls that I should be fluent in Mandarin by now.
594
Today, I voluntarily smiled at a baby.
It cried.
596
The worst thing I've ever said to a white person is when I couldn't remember if this guy's name was Brad or Brett so I ended up calling him Bread.
597
I have already forgotten what you just told me.
598
Why does every anime protagonist make me want to slap the shit outta them while protecting them at all costs
599
Why does everything that sounds inspirational in my head come out as existential dread.
600
Hey kids, appreciate your teachers and educators because when you're an adult it's no one's job to actually care about you. #BackToSchool
