626
For the love of God, check on your Aries friends. It’s Aries season and they’re stuck inside. Send them shit to burn or they’ll do it to their house.
628
Your holiday cards,
Wedding and birthday greetings,
Die in a drawer.
- a haiku about all the pretty paper I receive
629
@HarryShumJr This child will be more talented and better-looking than every other child in the history of children. The end.
630
CHRISTIANS ARE SHOOKETH twitter.com/korndiddy/stat…
631
This is a wonderful, powerful, gorgeous proclamation from a wonderful, powerful, gorgeous woman. Inspired and proud of you being you, @NikkieTutorials! 💜 twitter.com/NikkieTutorial…
633
Everyone has those rare supermodel moments when you just worked out, you ate healthy, your skin is clear, your hair is right, and you're about to go out and you're like BEHOLD THIS GORGEOUSITY and the rest of life is accepting that yes you are a trashcan in a raggedy human suit.
634
By 2050 everyone's parents are gonna be named Jayden or Zoey or Ocean or Stormi please someone name their kid Gary or Linda or Donald or Patricia so they don't go extinct.
636
Cops cannot only be held accountable the few times someone happens to film their violence. We should not have to rely on civilians to capture abuse of power. We can't only pay attention to crimes committed against Black people because we see a video. The. Problem. Is. Systematic.
638
The most superior cake is cheesecake.
And cheesecake is a pie.
639
Adventure Time 🗡
Come on grab your friends 👑
We'll go to very distant lands 🍬❄️🔥🐌
With Jake the Dog 🐶
And Finn the Human 😋
The fun will never end 🐝
It’s Adventure Time ❤️
640
I’m not mad. I’m confused because she was offended by this:
641
🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑
🐕🐖🐖🐖🐖🐖🐖🐖🐖
🧨 🎆🥟🧧🐷🧧🥟🎆🧨
🐖🐖🐖🐖🐖🐖🐖🐖🐀
🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕
#YearOfThePig
#LunarNewYear
643
How to fight with your sibling:
STEP 1 - Have a pointless argument.
STEP 2 - "Nuh-UH."
STEP 3 - "Yuh-HUH."
STEP 4 - Repeat until you die.
644
it's the first Friday night of 2019 and I feel like I've already committed to improving m--
*friend texts to go out*
--k it's bout time to break every New Year's resolution I made
645
🍃🐒
🔥🐇
💧🦎
🤔🤔🤔
🔥🐇💥🐰🔥🐇💥🐰🔥🐇💥🐰🔥🐇💥🐰🔥🐇💥🐰🔥🐇💥🐰🔥🐇💥🐰🔥🐇💥🐰🔥🐇💥🐰🔥🐇💥🐰🔥🐇💥🐰🔥🐇💥🐰🔥🐇💥🐰🔥🐇💥🐰🔥🐇💥🐰🔥🐇💥🐰🔥🐇💥🐰🔥🐇💥🐰🔥🐇💥🐰🔥🐇💥🐰🔥🐇💥🐰🔥🐇💥🐰🔥🐇💥🐰🔥🐇💥🐰🔥🐇💥🐰🔥🐇💥🐰🔥🐇💥🐰🔥🐇💥🐰🔥🐇💥🐰🔥🐇💥🐰🔥🐇💥🐰🔥🐇💥🐰
647
friend: stop being so dramatic
me: how bout you start being interesting
648
I love all the Marvel characters but Nebula is my fave because I have great taste and am emotionally unavailable.
Please join my fan club where we attempt to feel our own feelings by talking about how much we hate our families and stabbing things.
650
me eating while reading all these controversial food opinions
