201
sloth with a new haircut and a macdonald's necklace
202
everyday I write my own horoscope and it goes a little like this..."today is going to be the best freakin day of your life" and it always is
203
when i'm not filming youtube skits i'm also on a tv show called criminal minds and season 11 premiers tonight in america at 9pm
207
6 months until you can start putting up Halloween decorations without people thinking you are a weirdo
208
"hi, can i have a big plate of floppy thin green stuff that tastes like wet rust?" - my impression of someone ordering salad
209
wooly mammoths are so big and so wooly i'd even be scared if i saw 1 in a zoo tomorrow, but imagine you're ancient and don't even have pants
210
do you think aliens watch old episodes of X-files and are like, "pant suits are cool and that guy's voice is super monotone but it works"
212
#throwbackthursday to when i lived on Alderaan
213
getting tons of use out of my santa claus french fry bra at coachella
214
shout out to everyone who made fun of my peter pan tie and sweaty neck in the 5th grade! i still have them both.
215
if you can't handle me at my gonzo you don't deserve me at my kermit
216
if anyone ever doubts my dedication to Halloween let them know that i drove 47 miles to go to a spook house alone last night
217
legitimately just heard someone with bells walking on my roof and i'm not sure if i should be jazzed or concerned.
218
remind me to never get a fidget spinner
220
the next #criminalminds is nuts! like that saved by the bell when the tall girl was on speed and just wanted 2 dance
223
broccolini is just broccoli that went to cotillion
224
happy thanksgiving from norbert, the turkey who thinks he's a honey glazed ham
225
it's saturday! grab a tiny cup of coffee and pretend like you don't have a "young guns 2" poster in your bedroom
really good at decorating for holidays