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and now it’s time to crawl back into my grave for the next 364 days
252
i am nothing more than a low grade warlock floating through space, telling stories while avoiding salad
253
i’ve never once willingly gotten out of a bathtub. it was always only because i had to be at work or ran out of hot water
255
looking for the Loch Ness monster and some longer shorts
256
taking a break at the gym from my vigorous cardiovascular routine
259
swim badge? check. first aid badge? check. human pineapple on his way to a mighty mighty bosstones concert? CHECK
261
i love hallmark holiday movies more than your step-mom and aunt sally combined
263
i function best with eleven hours of sleep
264
i’ve been on criminal minds so long that my coverage from the pilot was shot using a sonogram
265
i directed tomorrow night's episode of #criminalminds it's called #aBeautifulDisaster and it is bananas
266
put on your great grandma's sweater. IT'S ALMOST CHRISTMAS!
267
moms love downton abbey, dads love downtown arby's
268
i once saw @JoeMantegna get his finger slammed in a car door and the door was completely closed and he was just like, "whatever."
269
#throwbackthursday me and mandy showing off a drawing we did of shemar
270
confession: i've never purchased sunscreen in my life. i just borrow it from family members and people i rub against in the subway
272
meet Kool Jordan, the undercover 8th grade cop that is great at blending in. #kooljordan
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looking forward to the day i'm finally eccentric enough to carry an umbrella in the sun
really good at decorating for holidays