1576
thank you to everyone that came out to see me and @hannibalburess sing "endless love" last night.
1577
everybody knows mark twain was great at writing but terrible at walking! twitter.com/LaurenCather/s…”
1578
fashion trend alert! twain is the new black. (📷 by @allisonemiller)
1580
faint of heart beware! we are unleashing @RichardBatesJr1 most twisted film yet tonight at @sundancefest
1585
i'm in this cool magazine and there's a well written interview with no spelling errors. theroguemag.com/features/issue…
1586
just kidding i never smash pumpkins. it's disrespectful to Halloween but billy corgan looks cool with hair and also with bald.
1587
i feel like billy corgan is 9 feet tall and only eats corn. also i bet he's great at horseshoes.
1588
if Billy C. asks you to play horseshoes for money just pretend like you are getting a phone call and politely walk away if you like your $$$
1589
a good friend once argued that smashing pumpkins is actually what Halloween is all about so maybe i just need to grow up and eat more corn
1590
seriously though, the band Smashing Pumpkins is a great band
1591
i'm so good at eating cheese late at night
1593
crop circles where like etsy for aliens
1594
do you think aliens watch old episodes of X-files and are like, "pant suits are cool and that guy's voice is super monotone but it works"
1596
making stuff with friends is the best! instagram.com/p/BBN7VQVjWYA/
1598
i'm directing my 9th criminal minds ep called #aBeautifulDisaster and #ericamesser & @Vangsness wrote it and it's gonna explode your gourd
1599
your gourd is gonna be all like, "Bakooowwww!" and your landlord is gonna be like, "KEEP IT DOWN UP THERE PEOPLE ARE TRYIN TO DO WARM YOGA"
1600
they want me to star in a remake of "Cool Hand Luke" called "Clammy Hand Sam" and "they" are my mom
really good at decorating for holidays