1001
story about the time i pretended to be an arborist to sneak into a famous haunted mansion @cbswatchmag
1002
i'm dressed like a fashionable lima bean in the february issue of @cbswatchmag. also i talk about haunted houses.
1003
#throwbackthursday to that time i got a facelift
1004
i'm having such a blast directing the legendary lance henriksen in CM episode 1118 #aBeautifulDisaster
1005
i made @NylonMag a valentine's day soundtrack. i hope everyone is french kissing someone as you read this. nylon.com/articles/matth…
1007
the only sport i follow is eating cheese
1010
here i am casually sitting next to a dirty pumpkin i made in the new issue of @theroguemag theroguemag.com/features/issue…
1011
wooly mammoths are so big and so wooly i'd even be scared if i saw 1 in a zoo tomorrow, but imagine you're ancient and don't even have pants
1012
RT if you think it would be scary to be an ancient person eating some berries in a meadow and then you look up and see a woolly mammoth
1013
original title sequence for beverly hills 90210
1015
they want me to star in a remake of "Cool Hand Luke" called "Clammy Hand Sam" and "they" are my mom
1016
your gourd is gonna be all like, "Bakooowwww!" and your landlord is gonna be like, "KEEP IT DOWN UP THERE PEOPLE ARE TRYIN TO DO WARM YOGA"
1017
i'm directing my 9th criminal minds ep called #aBeautifulDisaster and #ericamesser & @Vangsness wrote it and it's gonna explode your gourd
1019
making stuff with friends is the best! instagram.com/p/BBN7VQVjWYA/
1021
do you think aliens watch old episodes of X-files and are like, "pant suits are cool and that guy's voice is super monotone but it works"
1022
crop circles where like etsy for aliens
1024
i'm so good at eating cheese late at night
1025
seriously though, the band Smashing Pumpkins is a great band
really good at decorating for holidays