101
So does anybody have an update on what the groundhog did this year I haven’t been checking
102
Me running to my PC to make sure Walt-sama is OK
105
🎵May all of last year be forgot, and ne’er come to miiiind!!!🎵
108
It will probably come back much worse and require surgery, NOG-gonna lie to you 😂😂😂🎄❄️🎅🏻
109
That feel when you’ve absolutely cornered the market on your target audience
110
Forever doomed to internally replay that awkward thing he said at last weekend’s camping trip
111
What’s the mystery? How many times has the Pope said it was important to “Study the Body of Latin Classics”...
112
I don’t understand how all these hotels stay in business while offering free Wi-Fi
113
Some people just want to watch the world burn... t.co/1mkTP3HM1B
114
I don’t get it, why would anyone NOT litter their property with passive aggressive and/or brain dead lawn signs? Is there some kind of downside to NOT polluting the public space with gigantic obnoxious placards that let me know everything you’re thinking? Asking for a friend?
115
“What, for real?? Damn...and to think I was just moments away from deliberately ramming into you at full speed irreversibly maiming all passengers in the process.”
116
Away quickly while dodging child support?
117
Turns out there is a God twitter.com/YouTube/status…
118
“Get in the car kids, you’ve been extra good so I’m treating you all to some Super Beef 3-way!” - Something I Genuinely Hope Has Never Been Said
120
Oh, Hey There! I bet you’re curious how today my fate ended up in the hands of God the Almighty? Well, it’s a long story... let me go vomit a few times and I’ll take you back to the start...
121
The Zombie Royale mode in @CallofDuty Modern Warfare is genuinely some of the most fun I’ve had since Warzone first came out. Hats off to @InfinityWard for consistently knocking it out of the park these days. PS: PLEASE MAKE IT A PERMANENT MODE 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻😁😁😁
122
My favorite scene from Shrek 5 is when Donkey and Princess Fiona forcefully check Shrek into rehab and “Accidentally in Love With the CoCo” starts playing through the facility’s intercom system
124
I would like to give a massive shout out to Nintendo for continuously ruining my life for what seems like no reason or perhaps spite ✌🏻🙏🏻
125
Nintendo Staffer: Hurry! Miyamoto-san! This $60 Switch port of an 18 YEAR OLD MARIO GAME is running BETTER THAN A CALCULATOR.
Miyamoto: NANI DESUNE!!? (ʘ言ʘ╬)
Nintendo Staffer: 𝒜𝓃𝒹... Smash Bros Online is 𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕦𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕪 𝕡𝕝𝕒𝕪𝕒𝕓𝕝𝕖.
Miyamoto: *Inputs Nuclear Codes*
“I’ve got a fever, and the only cure is more uploads.” - the general public / Instagram.com/jontronshow / Business Inquiries: jontron@ellifyagency.com