1451
yt gays be like “WHEW CHILE!” whose? your adoption papers were rejected.
1452
circadian rhythm completely destroyed who want me
1453
they really thought two semesters at nyu was abt to solve shit twitter.com/ajplus/status/…
1454
but here’s the thing: i do be living, i do be laughing, and i do be loving
1455
justin bieber on IG like “hey fans! justin is licking the clit or dick of anyone who streams YUMMY! today”
1456
me:
gay couple on instagram explore page: seattle with this goober 👱🏻♂️👱🏻♂️
1457
no one:
white liberal: do black people *really* not like the prison industrial complex? or is that just something my niece with blue hair who goes to wesleyan says at thanksgiving dinner
1459
no one:
the concept of time: twitter.com/RealChalamet/s…
1460
2020 i’m on my housespouse shit. i’m ready to be taken care of in exchange for doing da cookings and da cleanings. cheat idc just make sure the wifi is fast
1461
happy fathers day remember to double check that you're texting dad not daddy
1462
sitting naked on your bed with your macbook on your lap and letting the computer radiation quietly murder your reproductive cells is the same thing as going on a valentine’s date. don’t let anyone tell you different
1463
once i learn how to whistle its over for you hoes
1464
millennial culture is spending money you don't have thinking you deserve it plus your paycheck is coming next friday and then your employers taking 2 months to pay you
1465
the millennial/gen z cut off is whether or not you remember “fuck it (i don’t want you back)” by eamon
1466
Flight attendant: Is there a doctor on this flight?
Dad:
Me:
Dad:
Me:
Dad:
Mom: you two should talk
Me & Dad: No
1467
the line outside the mgm lot: twitter.com/keyon/status/1…
1468
no weapon formed against italians shell pasta
1469
usually a couple spirals away from dropping everything & volunteering on a farm or dying my hair blonde & getting tatted until i look like a chipotle bag but today i feel like i could learn to code
1470
the fact they are 100% going to hire a non black artist to do a wakanda forever harriet mural twitter.com/pslweb/status/…
1471
white people's MLK: where_is_the_love_black_eyed_peas.mp3
black people's MLK: knuck_if_you_buck_crime_mob.mp3
1472
when capitalism already has you dead on the inside twitter.com/abc/status/857…
1473
good morning to everyone unless you’re in ICE then i hope it’s your last ❤️
1474
god when i was 10 years old praying to be straight
1475
somehow that nancy pelosi video is actually worse than the tweets described
