1926
where in the bay is this twitter.com/NOPERSONAS/sta…
1927
sorry but you don’t get to call yourself a twink until you’ve been on your 5th try and the water still hasn’t come out clear
1929
them: omg what does ur tattoo mean
my tattoo: talm bout chief keef ain't no hitta chief keef ain't this chief keef a fake sHUT the fUCK uP twitter.com/mashable/statu…
1932
we’re approaching that time of year when people cosplaying as poor take a break from meticulously dirtying their white vans to post 63 part holiday instagram stories that look like succession bloopers
1934
gays after putting on a stripped short sleeve and leaving the top 3 buttons unbuttoned
1935
my song bbc is out tonight at 12am midnight EST
1936
jamaicans: sorrel
mexicans: jamaica
white people: hibiscus twitter.com/islandboinatha…
1937
me still not having filed my taxes knowing the irs is coming for me
1938
my favorite prank is to steal a friend's phone and text their mom "hey, was just thinking about you. love you"
1939
playboi carti snapped when he invented iambic pentameter
1940
they offered a voucher to anyone who was willing to change their flight til tomorrow morning and i said no. it rained and the flight got changed til tomorrow morning anyway. now i’m sleeping in laguardia
1941
the first episode of tv i ever wrote airs in five days
1943
when ur on your 5th try and the water isn’t clear
1945
“ummm... i’m gay and i can do math” then get off twitter and go play on calculator app
1946
genitals ≠ gender
nytimes.com/2018/10/21/us/…
1947
keaton's mom skrrrting off with 50k worth of faded glory
1948
no offense but all houseflies need to DIE. productivity does -NOT- equal worth BUT at LEAST bees out here making a positive change in the world. flies play in shit and then land on your food or ON YOU and we just accept this? NO MORE. if you're a fly i'm swinging on u on sight
1949
if ur dating an eboy ur single to me what microsoft sam gonna do
1950
i lost my wallet. which contains my passport
