1427
New favorite, totally dumb thing: photoshopping Star Wars-inspired posters of new Try Guys videos
1428
.@BetoORourke and Texas Dems are registering folks to vote, organizing communities, and working around the clock to defeat Greg Abbott and Texas Republicans.
Consider donating to their efforts and let's turn Texas blue! ➡️ thisistexas.co ⬅️
1429
Those offended by open displays of sexuality must have terrible sex, which is odd because you'd think having a stick up one's ass would help
1430
I am a dog person who acts exactly like a cat
My identity is in crisis
🐶🐱
1431
From Soon Chung Park's husband: "I am raising money to pay for my living expenses ... because I am currently unable to work due to the trauma I have experienced from this attack and from the death of my wife. I would be very grateful for any support ..."
gofundme.com/f/for-husband-…
1432
Proud. Embarrassed. Proud. Embarrassed. Proud. Embarrassed...
- how Americans feel
1433
If your friend's car won't start and you're stranded, find a bulldozer and model the fuck out of it @KeithHabs
1434
A haiku:
If rice is kissing
Noodles, pasta are foreplay
Bread is the climax
1435
Let me make this crystal clear: when I talk about being Asian, I'm not joking.
I'm complimenting myself.
1436
"What's LA like?"
*show them this photo*
1437
While I’m on the topic of shows more people should watch, #Unorthodox on Netflix absolutely wrecked me. Incredible performances. A fascinating cultural exposé. The entire limited series was both engrossing and inspiring. Highly recommend.
1438
On the 2nd day of Trymas, the Try Guys gave to me...
New #trymerch, coming this Saturday!
@korndiddy @nedfulmer @KeithHabs
1440
Sorry forever, Mom ❤️😬 twitter.com/korndiddy/stat…
1441
how I dress for every holiday
#Halloween #FallisComing
1442
what even is that gym outfit, Keith twitter.com/keithhabs/stat…
1443
1444
You know you're old when you're watching The Little Mermaid and you're like "Triton's right dumbass he's gonna eat the bottom half of you!"
1445
Hey Dad, sorry for not saying I love you enough. So for this Father's Day I just want to remind you that I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU ❤️
1446
MOM: "I thought you died."
ME: "Why?"
MOM: "You haven't twittered anything."
ME: "YOU READ MY TWITTER?!"
MOM: "Your picture is too naked."
1447
Every massage ever:
Masseuse - "Is the pressure okay?"
Me - "Yes."
Me (internally) - THE PRESSURE IS NOT OKAY.
1448
1449
SEE YOU SPACE COWBOY...
#TryGuys #CowboyBebop
1450
Pesto the Pup meets pesto the pasta for the first time and is like soooo unimpressed
