26
i've got one foot in the darkness and the other one in a hello kitty roller skate
27
what's with all these specific "days"? isn't everyday women's appreciation day?
28
never heard back about my audition tape 4 "enter the dragon" so sent them this to let them know i'm still available
31
half way into a fancy fashion party last night i realized the shirt i was wearing was actually a woman's pajama top
32
according to my official calculations it’s finally here. if you need me for the next 61 days i’ll be watching hocus pocus in a corn maze
34
just did a home DNA test and it turns out i’m 90% October, 7% Dutch, 3% the soundtrack to Shrek.
35
me and my favorite big brother/life coach/pogo stick. (p.s he doesn't know i'm slightly peeing on his neck)
36
it's best to keep no less than 2 cookies in your pocket at all times. 1 for you and another for you when you finish the first one.
38
if shemar and i had a baby it would look like rupaul
39
the only thing i like more than waking up early is EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD
40
my alter ego (smirky von noodlehair) takes 47 selfies a day and only drinks luke warm smoothies
44
shemar eating a burrito while i sit in a box
45
the only sport i follow is eating cheese
46
HAPPPPPY HAAAALLLOWEEEEEEN (i finally got the self-timer right)
47
i love Easter. it's like Halloween for soccer moms and baby chickens.
49
i'm on this show. i talk fast, find clues, & shoot people in the elbow. i've also directed 10 super spooky episodes
really good at decorating for holidays