876
broccolini is just broccoli that went to cotillion
878
"hey pinocchio! where are you going?"
880
moms love downton abbey, dads love downtown arby's
881
thought I caught a rare pokemon on my neighbor's hammock but it turned out to be his sunburned nephew. anyone know a good lawyer?
882
shout out to my occasional morbid depression!
883
not trying to brag but i do hot yoga with mr. bean, mr. burns, and that green dude from lord of the rings
884
@drakedoremus @benyorkjones @Cirque we feel most at home when surrounded by highly flexible ninja clowns. cirque forever!
885
crayon drawing of my mom on a napkin!
886
i look like draco malfoy if he was the regional manager of a sports authority
887
swim badge? check. first aid badge? check. human pineapple on his way to a mighty mighty bosstones concert? CHECK
889
i've been on criminal minds longer than that kid was in that cool linklater movie where they filmed him once a year until he had a mustache
890
one of the highlights in my life was getting to play your grandson. we will miss you garry! #GarryMarshall
893
if I was made out of corn bread I would have eaten myself 3 minutes after I was born
895
.@drakedoremus (pictured here)made a new masterpiece called Equals that will melt your heart and rearrange your face
897
doing this new thing where instead of winking at people i just shut one eye and stare with my mouth slightly open. callin it "wonkin"
900
in their defense i was wearing a teal kimono
really good at decorating for holidays