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"it's almost Halloween" - me from february to october 30th
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#depressedjonathan’s quarantine video journal ❌🦠❌
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i just narrated my book! p.s. #RumpleButtercup is my “Citizen Cane” (but in color!)
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ghost on a platter with a pickle for a leg
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throwback to when i wanted to look like that cool guy from "Trainspotting" but i looked more like Ellen Degeneres
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in reference to that photo i just posted, i used to be a lesbian
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"i guess you could describe my look as colonel sanders meets satan"
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thanks for the birthday wishes guys! my B-day look in 4th grade was “eddie munster meets vanilla ice’s accountant”
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and yeah i'm not wearing pants, pants are for suckers that only start Halloweenin in October. I'M TALKIN BOUT SEPTEMBER 1 FOOLZ
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6 months until you can start putting up Halloween decorations without people thinking you are a weirdo
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congratulations to my uncle jerry who finally has a legitimate reason to social distance from me
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i’ve never once willingly gotten out of a bathtub. it was always only because i had to be at work or ran out of hot water
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i love Easter. it's like Halloween for soccer moms and baby chickens.
really good at decorating for holidays