826
my mom and dad taught me everything i know including how to have terrible vision
829
by 2 i mean 3, and by skittles i mean pints of ice cream. call an adult, i have finally "transitioned" into Macaulay Culkin from Home Alone
831
i'm standing on my tiptoes. the girls of @WildHorsesShow are comedy giants. thank you to everyone who came!
833
squatting with 2 of my favorite underground legends. can you guess which one is imaginary? @lloydkaufman
834
a star-fade is the closest thing a director has to a mic-drop
835
tonight’s episode of CM was the 11th one i directed but surprisingly only the 1st time i hosted a clown prom
836
another new shiv-tastic @CrimMinds_CBS tonight at 9 p.m
838
snuck into a famous haunted house last night and now i think i'm being followed by a ghost raccoon
839
bathtub tuxedo party with @TheCoveteur thecoveteur.com/matthew-gray-g…
840
baby great-grandpa being held by my great-great-great-grandpa
846
kevin in crayon on the back of a plane ticket
847
this dude rules. we are probably gonna hang out in roppongi later tonight.
848
"find what you love and let it kill you" bukowski
849
always color coordinate with your whoopie cushion
850
i'm alone at a restaurant thinking about a mitch hedburg joke and laughing so hard that i'm almost crying
really good at decorating for holidays