777
retweet if you just ate so much pizza alone in a dark kitchen
779
every saturday night i eat a pint of icecream and it takes 7 minutes of intense staring to decide which flavor
781
dear America, thank u for letting a weird kid from the desert make a career out of being a weird kid from the desert m.youtube.com/watch?v=9BC1vM…
782
#flashbackfriday to getting machete chopped on the belafonte
784
did anyone catch my secret shoutout to my main homie edgar allan poe in the CM episode i directed last night?
785
i feel like instagram has made everyone focus more on avocado toast than classic observational bathtub humor
786
trying to impersonate butch cassidy but i look more like butch patrick
787
if you looked at my DNA under a microscope it would look like this
788
i'm not sad at all, just a general observation, also it's stewart not stuart and also crying isn't bad or sad it's like winter for your eyes
789
hey @BuzzFeeders i love you. let's have little buzzfeed babies. buzzfeed.com/apentak720/18-…
790
marvin and marvin attorneys at law @heyharmony
791
i'll never forget the time @Beyonce asked me to choreograph her concert and i taught her "the fire pit shuffle"...
792
should i be depressed or excited about the fact that i have the same hairstyle as Jamie Lee Curtis in "Christmas With the Cranks."
793
you don't get thighs like this by being good at grammar. @Band_of_Robbers opens tomorrow! p.s i'd rather be caroling
795
moments after i kicked his ass..................(at pictionary)
799
like salads with a lot of cheese, olives, corn, croutons, beets, and pizza in it
800
new gubler shirt coming soon. every penny paid for the shirt will be donated to help those impacted. #vegasstrong
really good at decorating for holidays