552
You held someones hand that you aren’t married too today? Enjoy Hell.
553
Is it really Friday the 13th if somebody doesn’t try and kill you?
554
Wake up sinners, go and tell your parents you love them before it’s too late.
555
Come to Hell, we know Obamas last name.
556
Come to Hell, the ice cream machine in McDonald’s is never broken.
557
You better not be in church today you traitors
561
Don’t torture yourself, that’s my job.
562
you survived another day. I’m proud of you.
563
Wake up you sexy bitch it’s time to sin
564
i wonder how long it’ll take for something fucked up to happen this year
566
3 days in and this year is already shit
567
My point is, if God wanted us to eat healthy he would've made broccoli taste better than pizza!
568
Stop asking Jesus to grab the wheel.
He can’t drive.
571
You fuckers better not be going to church today
572
If I can’t join you I guess I’ll just have to beat you instead. I’m coming for you @verified
575
You guys blame me for getting Eve to eat the fruit but it was delicious and she was hungry
Not evil just misunderstood