453
The Bible can be found in Hell.
It's in the comedy section of the library.
454
Me after reading the Bible
*on the phone to God* : dude wtf?
455
If you have premarital sex you’re going to Hell
456
If you lost no nut November you’re going to Heaven
457
Jesus was the first gamer. That's how he respawned.
459
Remember kids, drugs are bad for your health, so wait till you’re in hell to do them.
461
Can one of you stop at Wendy’s for me before you die.
462
Ellen: today we have a very special surprise
Me: omg 👀
Ellen: remember how you said you were home sick?
Me: Ellen you didn’t 😢
(The ground parts, lava engulfs the stage. There’s muffled screams in the distance)
Me: ELLEN!! 😭❤️
463
*at a party in Hell*
Satan : we’ve ran out of Wine, all we have left is water.
Jesus : check again
464
Yeah fuck that Jesus guy twitter.com/evalmaoo/statu…
465
Since God's version of humans were such a massive failure, can I make them next time?
466
Stop killing each other, it’s way too much paperwork
467
who wants to make a deal with the devil
468
Yes I fell from Heaven and yes it hurt. Stop asking.
469
God may love you but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.
470
If you went to church today you’re a bitch
471
stop thanking God when a doctor saves your life
473
I wondered where my wings went twitter.com/billieeilish/s…
474
*God writing the bible*
God : fuck this guy Satan in particular
475
Andrew tate still owes me his soul for that Bugatti smh
Not evil just misunderstood