1451
I just tried explaining the evolution of her brand and discography and ended up arguing with myself about if Artpop was good or not for the past hour
1452
I am so happy that UNHhhh is back to bless my life. @trixiemattel and @katya_zamo are both so gracious, charming, and wonderful in person! Even after I accidentally called Trixie "Katya" while stylists were shoving my naked body into latex in the Streamys dressing room. 🤦♂️ twitter.com/trixiemattel/s…
1455
1456
I feel like when it rains, politicians point at the sky and scream, "THE UNSEEN TERRORS OF THE SKY ARE ASSAULTING OUR LIBERTIES OF DRYNESS!"
1458
me as a kid: i like guys with brown hair
me as an adult: pronounce the fuck outta words
1459
@korndiddy *Story of my legs.
Fixed it.
1460
Hey Dad, sorry for not saying I love you enough. So for this Father's Day I just want to remind you that I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU ❤️
1461
ME - "That was the weirdest tasting toothpaste."
SISTER - "Uh you just used my dog's toothpaste. It's liver-flavored."
1463
Back To School: Tryceratops Style 🤘
tryguys.com
1464
I'm at the "vicariously living through massage and chiropractor videos" part of this terrible journey.
1466
I just saw Star Wars and now I can't sleep because of the million raging nerd boners I have
1467
The #TryGuys marched in the #LAPride Parade and had the BEST TIME EVER!
#LoveWins
@KeithHabs @korndiddy @nedacus
youtube.com/watch?v=HdDtlR…
1469
Hello, I am the President of the International Runny Yolk Coalition 🍳, please direct me to your nearest, runniest yolk for a thorough taste inspection, thank you very much.
1470
First thought I have when I meet someone is wondering what their pinky toenails look like because I'm always shocked when I finally see them
1473
Go see #SearchingMovie. Excellent work by @aneeshchaganty who elevates the style and substance of web-centered films.
Also, one of @JohnTheCho’s best performances and further proof that #StarringJohnCho was never a novel trend, but rather an affirmation of tremendous talent. 🙌
1474
Every horoscope puts all the interesting traits on the other signs and they get to Capricorn and go "uhhh pragmatic and reliable i guess"
1475
Me and @BuzzFeedVideo's resident duck Pip are the newest office romance
