376
me:
*sees spider inside* 🕷️
"no don't kill it please let me get this beautiful misunderstood creature outside"
also me:
*walks through a spider web* 🕸️
"OH GOD PLEASE NO I'M GOING TO BE EATEN ALIVE BY THESE HELL SPAWN TIME TO SCREAM BLOODY MURDER AND FLAIL UNTIL I DIE"
377
How to fight with your sibling:
STEP 1 - Have a pointless argument.
STEP 2 - "Nuh-UH."
STEP 3 - "Yuh-HUH."
STEP 4 - Repeat until you die.
378
The imagery in Beyonce's #Formation video is some of the most powerful and important in recent music video history
379
Everyone's arguing about otter pops vs. ice pops but I have a question: did anyone else eat these special types of pops growing up, or was it just us Asians? This was my go-to summer treat: you'd cut off the tip or break it in half and suck out the flavor. What did we call these?
380
HOW DARE YOU MESS WITH MY CHILDHOOD YOU MONSTERS
*immediately buys tickets*
#DetectivePikachu
381
Hollywood gets picky about Korean-Americans speaking Korean on an Arkansas farm but has nothing to say about the countless movies set in non-English speaking countries where the characters... all speak English... with an accent.
382
Hey.
Hey you.
You like funny?
You like clever irreverence?
You like great chemistry?
You like that real good shit?
Go watch #AlwaysBeMyMaybe on @netflix.
Go watch it now.
Smell that?
Smells good, right?
That's the delicious flavor of Asian excellence, bitch.
383
My relationship with mirrors:
1) Damn I look like shit.
2) Damn I look fine as hell.
3) Damn I look 🎵 who is that girl I see... 🎶
End of list.
384
Today is my birthday.
My dog and I are both 33 years old in human years.
Asian don't raisin.
Pup don't grow up.
#Eugene33
385
You know who loves #SocialDistance? Our pets. Less time with other humans = more time with our best friends.
For those who are fortunate enough to stay at home, take a furry family photo and share your best pet pic! I'll go first:
387
In honor of #Pride, I'm ecstatic to announce that my videos, "The History Of Queer Dance" and a full choreography version, will premiere this Monday 🏳️🌈
388
Does anyone else take photos of their dogs licking until they capture the perfect pbbbt face? Please share your pup’s best pbbbt.
389
"How many times have you been in love?"
"I dunno, I'd have to remember how many dogs I've met."
390
Studios are really out here trying to make live action flying bison and mojo jojo more bangable and all I'm asking for is a renewed sense of childhood wonder.
391
When I watch teen dramas with sexy, cool characters I wish there were a show about MY high school experience but then I realize it would just be six seasons of me doing homework, rehearsing after school, never dating, and staying in to watch teen dramas with sexy, cool characters
392
them: "ugh people who are obsessed with the fall are the worst"
me: (shoves pumpkin down their throats) "YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH"
393
Yes, Bambi's mom dies, but need I remind you that halfway through this film all the woodland creatures hit puberty while a weird old owl explains to them why they're so horny. twitter.com/IGN/status/122…
394
You like your eggs over well with a hard yolk. Don't pretend to know how Asian Americans think.
395
Me: I'm an adult.
*sees #FantasticBeasts*
Me to me: You're a wizard. A magical child wizard.
396
Why does every anime protagonist make me want to slap the shit outta them while protecting them at all costs
399
🎃 MY ASIAN HALLOWEEN TRADITION ✌️
2009 - Russell
2010 - Rufio
2011 - Tiger
2012 - Zombie Samurai
2013 - Jubilee
2014 - Scorpion
2015 - Magnus Bane
2016 - Ash Ketchum
2017 - Rita Repulsa
2018 - Mulan
2019 - ???
400
Yes, #CrazyRichAsians has stellar Asian-American representation, but let's also talk about how it's the best rom-com I've seen in years. It's funny as hell. It's sumptuously sexy. It's full of heart. And it also happens to be unapologetically Asian. GO 👏 SEE 👏 THIS 👏 MOVIE 👏
