751
25 to 35 percent of my day is spent laughing
753
i'm either eating a really good pear right now or a really gross apple.
755
last self portrait of twothousandthirteeen
756
happy new years from john waters as a baby
761
nothing beats a snowy midnight screening of "so i married an axe murderer"
768
i'm on a plane trying to quietly eat bread while @andymilonakis recites every line from the first episode of Downton Abby to himself
770
now @andymilonakis is pretending to watch cool movies from the 1970's on his laptop but he's really just googling himself on his phone
771
woah! @andymilonakis is freaking out on the stewardesses because they won't let him open the Zimas he carries in his cargo shorts
772
some nice grandma was talking about the finale of Downton Abby and @andymilonakis overheard her and punched her in the stomach. not cool!
773
they made me and@AndyMilonakis honorary stewardesses for the great job we did delivering snacks to confused flyers
774
if you tell them it's your birthday they let you land the plane
775
i've been known to occasionally haunt ladies through hellish landscapes of their nightmares. i'm also really good at back rubs.
really good at decorating for holidays