427
I got these Snow White Poison Apple Beersteins from Disneyland recently and I regret nothing!!
428
Also apparently it’s my 7th Twitter anniversary so I get this special tweet so I’m using it but I have nothing to saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!
429
This Halloween I try to cook a TURDUCKEN. Hint -- IT WAS A BAD IDEA: youtu.be/HF9YDLOmCjM
430
“Chaos-Ball is the only Park-Sanctioned sport. Thank you for your cooperation.”
431
When I look back I’m thankful I put my gangsta days behind me
432
I can’t stop laughing at this actual pack of cigarettes from the UK. I want to know whose job it was to pick the stock photo.
433
T H I S C O U L D B E Y O U. Enjoy a Benson and Hedges!
434
Damn kids are on their phones all day while I’m over here like
436
I dunno if any of you are too young to remember “.... . .-. . / -.-. --- -- . / -.. .- - / -... --- ..”
437
Fucking tragic. Hope the bastard who did it gets his day in hell. washingtonpost.com/news/worldview…
438
This was my favorite Halloween acquisition this year. (INB4 candy corn sperging)
439
Easily the best feature of the iPhone X is the ability to become a talking facially-tracked excrement (WTF)
440
HOLY SHIT YES twitter.com/warcraft/statu…
441
Has anyone made a sitcom porno parody called "Parks and Procreation" yet? The Seinfeld one is getting boring...
443
I wonder if she specializes in Glaucoma 😏
444
The news is currently debating what Lebron James meant when he tweeted the “Arthur Fist Meme”. This is the world we live in.
445
🎶When I wake up, yes I know I wanna be I wanna be the man who tweets cancer to you,
When I go out, yes I know I wanna be I wanna be the man who goes and ruins your TL,
But I would tweet 280 chars,
And I would tweet 280 more,
Just to be the man who tweets a thousand times to—🎶
446
Maybe we should just start asking who *DIDN’T* take their penis out and start rubbing it on everyone in sight? Probably would get through it a lot quicker.
447
“I am also currently attending ‘Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind’ style brain cleansing to forget who he is. Would give update but will have forgotten what update is about.”
448
I love that Paul Revere was apparently just Jack Black living a past life.
449
I feel like I just saw this emoji commit a serious crime
450
That’s definitely going on my wall 😊👏 absolutely horrific twitter.com/lordgood_/stat…
“I’ve got a fever, and the only cure is more uploads.” - the general public / Instagram.com/jontronshow / Business Inquiries: jontron@ellifyagency.com