776
We had a good old fashioned Nor’Easter yesterday (Big storm in the northeast region) and a giant branch impaled the ground in my backyard. I’m glad it wasn’t MY FACE.
778
BREAKING: “Local sandwich forced to advertise the corpses of his fallen brethren for human consumption” Turkey Club spokesman says.
779
BTW I promise I'll stop being a basement dwelling shitpost bot and actually make something of worth soon lel
780
90s playlists keep my 1000 year old witch body soft young and supple
781
Show of hands who all on the Northeast is talkin’ bout:
782
I understand skepticism but I really never understood climate change denial, to me it seems entirely plausible
784
@h3h3productions POP TARTS CANNOT BE TWO DIFFERENT BREAKFAST FOODS GOD DAMMIT
786
Join me on YouTube, December 12th, for my Charity Auction Livestream, starting at 8PM EST! I will be auctioning off signed props from my show to raise money and awareness for Pulmonary Hypertension. For more info visit: bit.ly/jtcharity See you there!🎄🎅 #JonTronCharity
787
You don't choose the Bird Life, the Bird Life chooses you.
788
@JonTronShow "Shit, I think the AIDS just kicked in"
791
"She did not come back to life as a mechanized zombie and occupy the palace at Versailles, independent sources say."
792
When you secretly catch your daughter pole dancing in her bedroom instead of studying to get her bachelors degree
793
Hah, I remember taking that. We had to all stand still and act natural. Is it still on Google Maps? twitter.com/ClickcoAnimate…
795
I want a biographical work on the kind of person that decides they need to write the "How to Break up a Dog Fight" Wiki-How
796
For the life of me I will never understand people who hate iPhones so much LOL.
797
Just in case you didn't see my mediocrity® youtu.be/voZnWwP2vAg
798
Perhaps the best way to ensure your luggage gets 'Lost in Transit'
799
Come join me as I rank BUILDINGS that's right STRUCTURES on my ARCHITECTURE TIER LIST what can I say folks you gotta strike when the iron is hot: youtu.be/FRUM4UnuO7s
800
#FireColbert is so dumb lol. I never understand people who will try to get someone's livelihood taken away for jokes/opinions.
“I’ve got a fever, and the only cure is more uploads.” - the general public / Instagram.com/jontronshow / Business Inquiries: jontron@ellifyagency.com