376
so i almost got kidnapped yesterday at the airport and it made me think of my other airport/plane stories lol y'all want a storytime video?
377
OMGGGG WHO THE FUCK TOOK THIS OF ME IM CRYINGJSJDJSN
378
anytime i feel really mad and bothered i just want to skydive and jump out of a plane and scream at the world for being stupid
379
a girl just gave me toilet paper with donald trump's face on it.
*thinks about every horrible thing i can do with donald trump toilet paper*
380
Anyone that posts that little "turn on my notifications" shit cares more about their likes, and less about you. None of my business though!
381
when you and all of your friends are single af
382
nope i alived twitter.com/humanisperfect…
383
today i realized that burping is basically mouth farting. you're welcome
384
oh my god i just woke up and i had a dream that zayn fell in love with me i am going to be a single dog owner alone for the rest of my life
385
i wasn't lying twitter.com/issa/status/65…
386
give yourself a present by living in the present. fuck the past
388
It really bothers me that something always has to bother me :/
390
*sits in room in silence while my friends are talking about the attractive boys in their lives*
me: i have to poop
391
i hope nemo never finds you stupid bitch! twitter.com/dory/status/69…
392
why my computer breathing so damn hard shut up bitch
393
some woman just turned around and told me that she could hear me cussing…oh no i'm so fucking sorry that i fucking spoke how fucking dare me
394
a girl at starbucks is twisting her neck up down left and right while staring at me is she stretching or getting a drink before her exorcism
395
this is what my dad thinks his part in my song should be WHATSHDNNA
397
when u catch ya best friend snapchattin u
398
GUYS I'M GOING TO CRY I WENT TO PEE AND ALL I HEAR IS MY PARENTS' TV PLAYING A SHOW REALLY LOUD…MY PARENTS ARE IN HAWAII AND NOW I'M CRYING
399
accidentally screamed "BITCHH" in the disney store and some soccer mom worker gave me the dirtiest look and i was like "oh shit my bad"
400
i feel like i’ve been sipping dumb bitch juice all day
hey :)